looking for a quiet place

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I have had an interesting few months since last time I wrote.  I think this is the longest time I have gone without a post since I started blogging in 2006.  Yes there have been life distractions – but more than that, I have sat at the keyboard so many times thinking – I will not go to bed until I post – only to be distracted by the slightest thing.  No, not writer’s block…….I am wanting to break away, break the mold my art has settled in – I am still searching for my voice………..I am want to find something – inside me……  It started in about late October last year when I created that ‘murky’ greeny, collaged junk journal…….which I loathed (& still sits on the shelf where it landed after I photographed it!)………..I parred back and started to create a journal using white, titan buff & burnt umber – with just small amounts of colour on the pages…………and while it is a ‘nice’ journal (BTW – by the end pages – I was in FULL colour again! LOL!) – it is still not authentic…….it’s a mish mash of things I have seen in books, life experiences, You Tube vids, coffee conversations……I spent the two years I was at art school trying to figure out where the dividing line in the sand was between art & craft (so mercilously distained)……..and I think I am kinda getting it……its about contemplation, reflection, gestation, inspiration, time……..so much of what is around at the moment is the same…………. and I was making more of it……….what began as intuitive, use what’s on hand, use ANYTHING art of mixed media, has become formulaic & predictable……..In the world of everyone being published it seemed to me that much of what is around (whilst beautiful & inspiring publications in their own right) are just variations of the same thing.  Gel transfers & stencilled lines & dots & texture paste & stitching & golden paints………..and sooooooooooo many girls faces…………..soooooooooooo many journalling books.   ..I felt like a fraud…..whilst I believe the plethora of resources is equiping & encouraging people that may never have tried in the past – it is also almost creating a ‘style bias’………. I ache for fresh.  I have it.  I just can’t find within me yet…….. so I just stopped.  I didn’t do any art.  My family noticed it first.  I was crabby and not nice.  Too often.  I realized that I can’t separate the creating thing from who I am.  I must art.  Misty expresses it, as ever, with such poetry & elegance…………

So much of what Misty says here resonates with my soul – but I want more.  I spent a disproportionate amount of money to cross the country, thinking a different environment, with different tools & different influences would produced……….um, well………..DIFFERENT art……….alas – NOT.

So, little by little I have been playing – not turning any heads – nothing of any significance…………..dabling, sorting, questioning, writing………hoping………..for fresh.

I am blessed to be surrounded by influences like Seth Apter………who encourages & nutures artists into being………& am honoured to be a part of his blog this week…..you can check it & other entries out here:

I’ll keep you posted………….

2 responses »

  1. Dear Keron, my art journey started as a dialogue with myself. I found this stream of energy which wanted to get in contact with my day-consciousness. It told me colors, textures and taught me playfulness. Later I began to meditate again after a pause of more than 10 yrs and the spiritual journey went on. It´s all in me and I feel so blessed – I found love and the journey goes on though – I feel an urge to create and don´t feel the message to be expressed…. it´s just thoughts and words. No art for three years now. A bit craft here and there. There´s a lack of concentration – no quiet place. Recently I folded an origami box and made photos and instructions for it. This was a great experience because my head felt sorted thru and cleaned up. Enjoyed it very much because it was a new feeling😉 . Don´t know if this helps but you´re not alone. Maybe you can connect to Mother Earth .

  2. Oh Keron, I was so excited when I saw a new post from you. When I read your words, I thought you were reading my mind.
    Honestly, I’ve been so frustrated lately with my art that I have felt like quitting myself. “I ache for fresh” too but can’t seem to find it as well. You wrote so eloquently what my heart has been crying. Thank you for sharing yourself. I’m going to repost the Misty Mawn video on my blog as well. I actually would like to repost your whole message if you would allow me. We miss you at Papertraders!
    Cathy Calamas

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