FIRST, before I begin with today’s post, I need to write a postscript about yesterday’s…… it’s a bit deep, (& probably an overshare) so you may want to just skip it & look at the art (that’s OK)…. sometimes I am a bit lost with all of this talk about ‘rediscovering our childhood’ (or whatever terms it is couched in) – in essence, being unhibited ‘as a child’ is in their art efforts – there is an underlying assumption that ‘childhood’ is something good, & needs to be re-gained…. however childhood was not a happy or a safe place for me & all that I ever wanted was to grow up, so that I had more control over the things that happened to me…….
I am happy to be a grown up.
I don’t feel safe being a child or childlike.
i feel scared
Some days, I wish I could undo this feeling, & wonder what it would be like to have a mother or a father in my life as an adult, or to have a family….. I spend my life ‘adoping’ pseudo family……… my life experiences have helped me to develop compassion & understanding & are the building blocks of who I am today. So I don’t really regret it. I just don’t want to go back there.
These thoughts have been plaguing me all day………..and now that they are out of my system……..I can move on to today’s artwork……These are the inside of the front cover & first page of my newly made journal. It’s a bit different from my first go at this…..One of the changes is my ‘princess warrior’. When I thought about it, I actually don’t want a knight in shining armour – I want a bejewelled princess, who’s role would be somewhere between Zena & Willow (if you know of Zena on TV – it’s an old show, I don’t think it is currently running) – not a servant – more like a personal aid – an armour bearer…….. I have had the privilege of having had several of these people in my various professional roles – but never in a creative role….I need a princess warrior from the sistahood to protect my introspection while I create. I need walls to keep the world out & preserve my solitude. Oh, and of course, some one to bring CAKE! (I already have fresh ground coffee taken care of) LOL!! In my first (now defunct) journal, I just picked any colour for the eye on the page, however, the Hebrew origins of my name mean ‘a horn of eye paint’, ie kohl or mascara – so I wanted to have a go at drawing my own eye. I have a bluey green eye colour with an indigo outer ring…..I knew I had blue/green eyes, but I hadn’t taken alot of notice of the detail of them before – there’s a tripping experience!!! LOL!!! Examining your own eyes in the mirror. TRY IT – I bet you don’t know what your eyes really look like!
OK – sorry that the beginning of this post was a bit strong – tomorrow – only light & fluffy art – I promise!!! LOL!!!